Madelyn's Hope

This space would not exist if it weren't for my precious little girl. My baby girl Madelyn Grace, who is in heaven with Jesus.

Loosing a child is something no mother should ever have to go through. And yet, I have been through it. I remember the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach the night I realized she wasn't moving. I knew. I was 38 weeks pregnant, and we were expecting her any day. I remember thinking, "Lord, this can't be right. Mommies just don't loose babies at this point."

But as it heartbreakingly turns out, they do. And it happens more often than people realize. Much has happened since that nightmare of a night. Much heartache. Much searching. Much crying out to the Father for answers. And sometimes, crying out to him in anger. And yet, He has never left my side. Not for a minute. He has given me strength upon strength. He has revealed the deepest parts of His heart to me, and taught me how to open up the deepest parts of mine. He has loved with His everlasting, unfailing love that never changes. And I have fallen deeper in love with Him than I ever knew possible.

As the Father has been working and holding my heart, He has been whispering to me and gently nudging me along the way. He prompted me to start Strongheart, a private group on Facebook for women walking through infertility or child loss. Connecting with so many women and walking in friendship with them has been one of the greatest blessings of my life.

A few months after Madelyn passed, He asked me to start writing music again. I told Him no for months. How could I possibly find the right words? But like He always does, He calmed my fears. And slowly but surely, I began to write.

I have now been leading Strongheart for two years. And what started as a scared yes to starting a music ministry has turned into three professional recordings and winning a contest with my hometown radio station. The Father has truly created beauty for ashes in my life. Because that's what He does. It's who He is.

I started this page to blog my journey. I wrote my first post just weeks after losing Madelyn. I'm so thankful that I have these memories saved here so that I can look back on all that God has done in my life. I pray that it helps others as well. Love to all.

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