I have been wanting to share this story for some time, but wanted to make sure I was ready to give it the attention it needs. If you have followed my blog and story, you know how God has worked and what sweet messages He has sent since Madelyn’s passing. If you haven’t read my Butterfly Blessings post, I encourage you to do so. Anytime I feel sorrow taking over my mind, I think of butterflies. Those beautiful creatures that God has placed on this earth and has spoken to me through. I am so thankful for the way He speaks to me. If that story touched you, I am certain that what I am about to share will too.
I was 38 weeks 1 day pregnant with Caleb, our first, one cold December day when I started having contractions. However, I did not realize they were contractions yet. When I shared with a friend that I was having a “dull pain in my back that seemed like it was coming and going but I wasn’t sure” she laughed and said, “that’s a contraction sweetie.” By 5pm they were more and more regular, and I was fairly certain I was in early labor. My husband was on night shift at the time, and scheduled to work that night. The first thing he always tells people is that when your wife says, “I don’t want to worry you, but…” you better be prepared. That’s exactly what I told him when I woke him up to prepare for his shift. We both agreed it was best for him not to go to work, and so he stayed with me as we both waited for things to progress. My contractions weren’t regular at all–in fact they were quite sporadic. We had been told to wait until they were consistently 5 minutes apart. They were 5 min, 7 min, 6 min, 9 min, all over the place. I had heard that you can’t eat once you get to the hospital and you are in labor, and decided I was craving a burger and chocolate shake (anyone who has ever had a baby probably knows where this is headed). Let me also say that this was our first baby and we knew NOTHING about the labor process. We were really going into it with childlike eyes. After we ate, it was about 8pm and the pain was getting intense. But my contractions still weren’t regular, so we thought we still needed to wait. Around 10pm, I was in severe pain and getting very sick, so Matt called the hospital. The nurse said to come immediately, as it sounded like I was in active labor. On the way to the hospital, all of a sudden my contractions became regular, however they weren’t five minutes apart. They were 4 1/2, then 4, then 3….if you read my blog from a few days ago about my labor with Joshua, you now know that we have almost had two babies in a car. By the time I got to the hospital, I was 7cm dilated and they sent me straight to delivery. I remember screaming for an epidural and all of the nurses kept brushing it off, saying, “let’s just see if you’ll be able to sit still for that sweetie,” and “let me go check on that.” Now, when you are a woman in active labor who puts two and two together and realizes that not only are you not going to get an epidural, but it is time to push a baby out, things can go downhill rather quickly. I remember being told to push with the next contraction and literally saying (yelling) that I would not and could not. In the rush of things I cannot visualize much about those moments in my head, but what I can tell you is the one thing that stands out very clearly. All of a sudden, the room was quiet, and a sweet older man with such kind eyes leaned over me and said, “Jennifer, this baby is coming. And he’s coming right now. I need you to push on this next contraction so that we can get him out.” Later I learned that Caleb’s heart rate had started to drop and that it was important to get him out quickly. Something about that doctor, and the way he spoke to me, helped me accept the circumstance, that I would not get medicine, and I was going to have to push. So, all in that moment, it was as if an overwhelming peace came over me. In only 3 or 4 pushes, Caleb came into the world.
Now, you might be thinking, why is Jennifer sharing all this? I promise you, I am getting there. I have to share all this with you for you to completely understand and for it to make sense. It turns out that sweet doctor’s name is Dr. Stamm. At my doctor’s office, they like you to see all the doctors when you are pregnant, because you never know who will be on call when you deliver. We maybe had seen Dr. Stamm one or two times before Caleb was born, but it wasn’t many. So I didn’t remember him very well before that night. After Caleb was born, and he visited us, he sat down with us and spent a great deal of time with us. He went above and beyond what you would expect a doctor to do. He was wonderful. And, he got me through one of the most terrifying yet beautiful experiences I have ever had. I knew after Caleb was born that he would always be special to our family. When I became pregnant with Joshua, we would request him for appointments, but timing and which office he was scheduled to be at never coincided with where and when we needed an appointment. We went my entire pregnancy with Joshua and with Madelyn without seeing him.
I won’t divulge much about my delivery with Madelyn today. I am not ready to share that, and I may never be. But I can tell you that my labor with Joshua was 7 hours from start to finish, and my labor with her was only 4. When I got to the hospital to deliver her, I was already fully dilated and I knew medicine was out of the question. I remember laying on the hospital bed, and my doula whispering, “it’s ok, sweet mama, Dr. Stamm is on the way.” It took me a few minutes to process what she had just told me, but when I did, I knew that this was not a coincidence. God knew that I needed that sweet man to get me through the hardest thing any mama could ever do. And he did. He was with me the whole time. He saw her, touched her, and told us how beautiful she was. He was with us in the hours that followed, and sat with us for hours. He was so much more than a doctor to us. He was a friend.
In a follow up visit to Dr. Stamm after Madelyn was born, he shared that he was retiring and that he and his wife had purchased a farm. Just being in the same room with him was such a comfort. He knew my baby girl. He had seen her, touched her. Being around him was like being close to her. We made plans to take the boys to visit the farm later in the summer. And visit, we did! The boys got to ride in the tractor, feel the animals, pick vegetables, and gather eggs. It was wonderful, and they had the time of their lives. How many families get to form this kind of relationship with their doctor? How was it that of all the doctors, Dr. Stamm just happened to be on call when I was in labor with my little girl, who was already with Jesus? The answer is that we serve a loving God who is good. Who send blessings like that in moments when you need it the most. Dr. Stamm provided hope and comfort in a moment that I needed it the most. And now, I not only call him a doctor, but I call him a friend. When Caleb was born, did I ever imagine that the same doctor would also deliver my sweet girl years later, in that circumstance? No. But God knew. He knew from the beginning of time. If you take anything away from this story today, please hear this: God knows your needs. Big and small. He knows the number of hairs on your head. He is with you in every moment, good and bad, light and dark. Open your eyes to His voice. He is constantly speaking, if you will listen.
Leave a Reply