Happy birthday my darling, precious angel. Today we are celebrating you, without you. There are so many things I would do and say if I could see you, just once. But while we are apart, it fills my heart to imagine what it would be like if I could.
What I would say to you: I love you so much. You are so beautiful. My little Maddie Grace. I’ve missed you every single second of every single day. Did you know that? You are in everything I do, in all that I am. You are in Caleb’s innocent, inquisitive eyes and Joshua’s silly, infectious giggles. You are in your daddy’s strength and love. Thank you for sending the butterflies, little one. I love them. They help me not feel so sad. Tell me about heaven. What is it like to sit at the feet of Jesus, baby girl? What does it smell like? What treats have you tasted? Tell me all about your friends. What games have you played? Who have you met? Have you met Caleb and Joshua? Did you tell them that your brothers are named after them? Oh, let me just hold you and hold you. Would you like me to brush your hair? I still have all of your bows. Let me put one in your pretty blonde curls for you. Let’s go pick out a dress together. I have longed for this moment; to be able to care for you. Your brothers miss you so much. Caleb talks about you all the time. Joshua lights up like a firefly whenever we speak your name. I can’t wait until I can see the three of you hug each other. Your daddy has been so strong. He has helped me so much when I have been sad. He picks me up and helps me stand again. He is strong because Jesus has made him that way. I’m so glad Jesus made you. I’m so glad I got to carry you in my belly for so long. I’m so glad I got to look at you, hold you, and kiss your cheeks. When I’m finally in heaven with you, I will hold you and kiss you again. And this time I won’t have to let you go. What a beautiful day that will be. Thank you for being so brave. Did you know you are changing lives? You are my precious, sweet, beautiful, brave girl.
What you would say to me: I love you too mommy. I don’t know what it is to be sad, but even though I know you aren’t with me yet, I don’t feel like I ever left you. Jesus told me I have Caleb’s eyes and Joshua’s giggles. He said he made me that way. Don’t cry, mommy. Don’t be sad, mommy. Jesus said he’s proud of you and daddy. He said He knows you are sad, but one day he will be able to explain everything to you, and you won’t be sad anymore. Daddy is so strong! I love watching him play with Caleb and Joshua and throw them in the air. I’m there too, and it is so fun. I’m glad you love the butterflies. I just knew you would. I told Jesus we should send them to you. I am so happy in heaven! Jesus is warm. He gives the best hugs. He feels like a soft cloud. It smells like the prettiest flower and the sweetest cake. We get the best treats! I know Caleb and Joshua love lollipops and gummies. Tell them heaven treats are a million times better. I have the best friends. We just play and play and play. Nobody ever falls down. Nobody ever gets hurt. Nobody ever cries. Caleb and Joshua talk to me in their hearts. They say they love me and miss me. I can’t wait to play with them! Mommy, I remember being in your belly. I loved it there. I loved listening to your voice. Then one day I closed my eyes, and when I opened them I was here. I felt you holding me from heaven. You and daddy give the best hugs and kisses. Almost as good as Jesus. I can’t wait for all of you to come play with me. You will love it here. I love you, mommy.
“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
~2 Corinthians 4:17-18
“For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.”
~1 Thessalonians 4:16-17
“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall their be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
~Revelation 21:4
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